[fic] Protection

[kiyala.livejournal.com]

Title: Protection
Author: kiyala
Word Count: 3133
Rating: NC-17
Summary: umm... Quincest? xD
Warnings: Quincest, boy/mansex, errm... I think that's all ^^; a bit of angst at the start too
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: Kubo Tite owns Bleach
Notes: Wrote Quincest again!! This is a very delayed... sorry!! birthday fic for frenchsoap =3

x-posted to quincy_papa and ishidafansanon








Everyone had something to protect. Kurosaki… well, he was of the belief that he had the world to protect. Inoue-san wanted to protect Tatsuki while making sure as few people were hurt along the way and Sado had made a deal of sorts, where he and Kurosaki promised to protect each other.

They were better off without me, really. I wasn’t able to protect people just yet, although my powers were returning slowly, but either way… I felt as though I had no one to protect. I was doing this merely for the pride of the Quincy, but seeing that this so-called pride had cost me my powers while I ended up achieving nothing, I found myself questioning its worth too.

Maybe I was just selfish. Instead of proving to Soul Society that the Quincy still live on and that we were not to be ignored and pushed aside, perhaps I only went with the motivation to prove that I, Ishida Uryuu, the last Quincy – or so I had thought back then – was strong, that I was powerful, that I was a Quincy with well-developed power despite my Sensei no longer being there to guide me and despite the fact that my father, so many years ago, had told me not to do this.

Perhaps that’s what I liked about being a Quincy. The fact that it pissed Ryuuken off.

I had thought, a long time ago, that by being a Quincy, I was saving people. I killed Hollows before the Hollows could kill them, so it was a good thing to do. Yes… back then, I had believed that I was truly protecting people, and it made me proud. It made me feel secure.

But then I met Kurosaki. In a single day, he managed to make me feel superior, inferior, selfish, ashamed, proud, scared and amazed. And then I saved his life. I saved him. I protected him. But he had still made me realise that the way I thought, the way I went about things, was nothing to be proud of when compared to what he did unconsciously.

I wasn’t protecting people. I wasn’t proving the Quincy were still strong.

I was just a boy who liked doing what his father told him not to.

But now, Ryuuken and I had become so distant that I barely thought of him as a father. So what was he? And what did that make me?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Could I call him my son? I felt somewhat denied when I thought too much about my relationship with the boy. A father was supposed to have experienced the ups and downs of watching their child grow. Proud of their developments, accepting and possibly slightly disappointed by their errors. I don’t remember experiencing any of that. Perhaps the disappointment. The one prominent feeling I remember was betrayal. On Uryuu’s part. On Souken’s part.

I had wanted to keep him safe, to make sure he didn’t have to face the same things I had. The years of hiding from the Shinigami while our race was purged, the pain of having to choose between love and protection. Sacrificing my powers of being a Quincy to be able to have a family and love those around me without having to duck off every half hour to exterminate a Hollow was one of the worst things I ever had to do. My wife made it worth it, my son even more so, but once I lost both I felt the pain of loss tenfold upon realising I no longer had any of what I had believed to define me.

I think it was because I sensed the same pain in him. I always ensured I checked up on his reiraku daily… just to make sure he was okay. I was furious upon realising he had gone to Soul Society, and made plans to let him know exactly how stupid an idea it was once he returned, but then I felt something all too familiar. The loss that was weighing down on him.

I had merely made a promise to myself to never use my Quincy powers again, but he had completely lost the ability to do so. It was then I suppose, that I felt as though I owed him something. After years of not being there, of not knowing him, of not being able to protect him… if I could give him what he wanted, return to him the one thing that made him who he was, even if he wouldn’t forgive me, at least I would be able to forgive myself.

…Just to see Uryuu happy.

I had given him the day to rest and he was sitting on the roof of the house and staring into the sky, doing what I believe people of his generation would call angsting. I stood at my opened window on the second storey, watching him, prepared to take down any Hollow who might think it had some easy prey. Yes. I was protecting him again, and it felt good.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I find the sky takes longer to change colour when you watch it.”

Uryuu looked up and turned around to see Ryuuken standing some distance behind him.

“Training time?”

The older Quincy let out a small laugh, the genuinity of which the boy couldn’t tell.

“I told you that you had the day off.”

“I’ve been unconscious for a week, Ryuuken. Shouldn’t I return to my training?”

The man’s eyes flicked to the mark on Uryuu’s chest from when he had been shot eight days previous and frowned, “You must still be tired. It would be shameful for you to faint in the middle of re-discovering what you can do.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Mmm,” Ryuuken made a contemplative noise and lifted his eyes to take in the changing colours of the sky, “You’ll continue to say that until your body stops functioning.”

He noticed Uryuu clutching his chest and raised an eyebrow, “Does it still hurt, Uryuu?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” the boy snapped, although his breath had become slightly shallow.

“Come inside. You need to eat.”

Uryuu stared as the man disappeared into the house and after a moment’s pause, also stood, wincing slightly as the muscles of his torso protested, especially around the mark, and jumped off the roof, zipping his shirt up before walking in.

His eyes widened as he saw the table of food waiting for him. Ryuuken raised an eyebrow at the boy’s stunned look.

“Are you going to stare at it all day or are you going to actually eat?”

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Uryuu confessed as he reached over and picked some food from the nearest plate.

The man sat down and began to eat as well, “Of course I do, I lived alone too.”

“I only remember eating Okaa-san’s food when I was little, or I’d eat at Sens—”

“Uryuu.”

Ryuuken’s tone was strict and the boy looked up slowly.

“Stop calling him Sensei. He is your Ojii-san, so you must give him the respect he deserves.”

“I give him just as much respect when I thought of him as my—”

“Uryuu,” the look in those eyes said he was not going to discuss it, “Ojii-san.”

“Fine,” he acceded and frowned, “So now I suppose you’ll tell me to call you Otou-san.”

Ryuuken was silent for a long moment as he chewed his food thoughtfully and swallowing, he kept his gaze fixed on his plate, “Ryuuken will do.”

“Good,” Uryuu replied as he began to eat, although he somehow felt less triumphant than before.

The rest of their meal passed in the familiar silence that had prevailed all through their previous meals and they tried their best to ignore each other as they ate.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That must have been the longest conversation I’ve ever had with him. He wasn’t truly a bad person and I found myself wondering why I hated him so much. It had been because he hadn’t allowed me to do what I wanted to, I suppose. He didn’t want me to become a Quincy… he even went so far as saying I lacked the talent to do so. He had always been a condescending bastard and in fact, I’d say he still was. But now things were different. After so many years of telling me I couldn’t be a Quincy, he’d turned up out of the blue and offered to teach me how to regain them. I guess it’s for that reason I don’t seem to hate him as much. He’s no longer telling me what I can or can’t do. He’s not telling me that I can’t be what I want to.

I don’t know what he believes but either way, he’s helping me regain my powers.

The tension between us is more habitual than anything else. I’m not the type to be outwardly friendly, even to the select few I would consider good friends – not that I’d ever let anyone know that I considered them so – to be friendly to the man who I had hated for years would be impossible.

It seemed as though he was usually as silent as I was. That was perfectly fine with me, I preferred the silence over any awkward attempts at conversation he might have made if we were any different. I appreciated the silence, the fact that he gave me my own space when we weren’t training… I even liked the way he would put me down when I made mistakes when training, because it’d make me want to go at him twice as hard the second time. Yes. I liked it all.

…Perhaps Ryuuken wasn’t such a terrible person at all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I’m rather curious about what goes on behind those blue eyes of his. I’d like to know how he thinks, how he works. There are several years’ worth of knowledge of Uryuu that I have missed out on and I’m almost afraid that it’s too late to make up for it all. He reminded me of myself very strongly, he was the type to lose trust in someone and never be able to regain it… and I had lost his trust. However, he had hated the Shinigami for Souken’s fate, but had managed to overcome it and befriend the Kurosaki boy. Perhaps he didn’t have any strong attachments to them so to speak – he had agreed to my deal after all – but he had still managed to stop hating them.

I fought down the urge to watch him as he ate, to memorise every single change in him since I had seen him before he had left, but I remained staring at my own plate, memorising the appearance of my food instead.

As I ate, a thought made its way into my mind and wouldn’t leave no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.

If Uryuu could learn to stop hating the Shinigami, then perhaps he could learn to stop hating me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Thank you for the meal.”

Uryuu set down his chopsticks and Ryuuken glanced up, nodding slowly as he placed his own chopsticks in his empty plate.

“You should get some sleep.”

The boy glared at him as he stood up and began to walk away, “I’ve slept for a week already. I think that’s enough.”

“Uryuu…” Ryuuken whispered as he stood with a sudden sense of urgency.

The movement surprised the younger Quincy and he stopped in his tracks, “What’s wrong?”

Composing himself, the man gave him a stern look, “…Be careful. I’m not going to have you die unless its by my hand.”

A coldness that had been missing for the past few hours returned to the blue eyes and Uryuu frowned, “You don’t need to tell me that.”

Before Uryuu could walk away, a hand closed around his wrist and held him firmly.

“You’re going to sleep,” the man said in a resolute voice, paying no attention to the way Uryuu attempted to draw his hand away.

“Get off me, I’m fine!” the boy protested, trying to break free all the way to his bedroom but to no avail.

“You’re only lying to yourself, I can see how tired you are in the way you move.”

“Ryuuken—” Uryuu began but was pushed up against the wall.

“I’ve only wanted what was good for you,” the man whispered and the younger Quincy tensed up as he noticed how close they were to one another, “I need you to be safe.”

“I’m fine—”

Without another word, Ryuuken brought his lips down on the boy’s and Uryuu jumped slightly, relaxing as he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders.

Their lips moved slowly against each other and Uryuu was pushed harder against the wall, “This… we… shouldn’t…”

Looking into the blue eyes, Ryuuken straightened up but did not move away, “I understand.”

“I… I think I’ll sleep,” the boy said as he moved towards his bed and the older Quincy looked pleased.

“Good. Sleep well and we’ll begin your training tomorrow.”

Opening his mouth to reply, Uryuu’s eyes widened as his legs gave way. Ryuuken was beneath him in the blink of an eye, holding the skinny body up with a frown.

“Fool. I told you that you were tired. You’re too proud for your own good.”

Clinging tightly onto Ryuuken’s clothes, Uryuu stood up again – albeit a little shakily – and looked into the eyes of the man in front of him.

“Do you consider yourself my father, Ryuuken?”

There was a flash of some emotion Uryuu couldn’t quite place and then it was gone.

“I find it easier not to.”

There was a silence and Ryuuken frowned, “Was I meant to redirect that question at you?”

“Do you care?”

The man smirked, “Well I’m curious now. Do you consider yourself my son?”

“Well, I…” Uryuu began and then frowned, “I guess I could say that I can see the benefits of not doing so.”

Ryuuken tilted his head to the side, “Such as?”

Uryuu, who was still clinging to the sleeves of the man’s shirt, tightened his grip and moved his face closer, “Like this, for one.”

Their lips met again and both of them decided not to think too hard about what they were doing, in the fear that it would stop. Ryuuken held onto Uryuu’s shoulders and pushed him away for a moment, looking deep into the questioning blue eyes before kissing the boy again, once on the lips and then down his neck. Uryuu let out a small sigh, then groaned as he felt teeth sinking into the sensitive skin, his head falling back to allow Ryuuken more access.

He was hardly aware of the fact that he had been pushed down onto the bed until he hooked a leg around Ryuuken’s hip and held him closer.

“What are we—?”

“I give you full permission to stop me whenever you wish,” Ryuuken murmured as he unzipped the boy’s shirt and kissed down his chest.

“Ryuuken…” Uryuu groaned, his breath catching in his chest as he felt a warm tongue trace out the mark of the pentacle on his chest, arching and vaguely aware of the fact that his chest wasn’t hurting this time. Falling back down into the bed, he looked up through the rounded glasses the man wore and blushed slightly as he spread his legs, “More.”

Loosening his tie and pulling it off along with his jacket, Ryuuken sat up and took off his own shirt which, to Uryuu’s surprise and mild amusement, was held together by fasteners. Leaving it hanging open, he bent over Uryuu and their lips touched again as the boy pushed the shirt off, where it joined the other clothes on the floor.

Taking his glasses off, Ryuuken frowned, “I told you to stop me when—”

“When I want you to stop, yes,” Uryuu sat up and taking Ryuuken’s glasses from his hands, placed them on the bedside table, placing his own beside them, “I want more, Ryuuken.”

“Are you fully aware…” the man whispered as he rolled his hips forward, “Of what that means?”

“Yes… yes, I am,” Uryuu muttered impatiently, “More… hurry.”

His pants were gently tugged off and he gasped as a hand wrapped around his erection and stroked gently through his underwear.

“My, you’re easy to please,” Ryuuken murmured and Uryuu tried hard not to blush. Instead, he reached for the man’s belt, unbuckling it and pulling it off, followed by the pants.

“What exactly is it that you want?”

Uryuu blinked and stared at Ryuuken for a moment, which he found rather difficult to do as his arousal was incessantly caressed.

“I… want…” he panted, holding his eyes tightly shut and clenching his teeth to remain in control of him, but without success as he released, soaking his underwear, the sheets beneath him and Ryuuken’s hand.

“…You,” Uryuu gasped as he sank into his bed, “I want you, Ryuuken. I want this. Please…”

They were naked before the boy’s pleasure-hazed mind could properly process it and he felt the first intruding finger, slick with his own release then followed by another, stretching and rubbing him from the inside and he groaned and whimpered, the mixture of pleasure and pain too much for his tired mind to comprehend at once without giving him a headache, so he settled for just being loud.

“Ryuuken… Ryuuken…”

He was momentarily silenced with a kiss before he was entered. He screamed, the pain overwhelming his body until a hand quickly found his cock and stroked, bringing the pleasure back and letting it take over his mind as Ryuuken angled his thrusts to hit the prostate. Uryuu gasped loudly, his vision going far too bright to see anything for a moment before it cleared and he found himself resting his forehead against Ryuuken’s, both looking into each other’s eyes. Kissing messily, they pulled themselves closer and older Quincy began to thrust harder.

“Your face…” Ryuuken chuckled breathlessly, “…It spells ‘pleasure’ so clearly.”

Biting his lip hard, Uryuu whimpered quietly as he was pushed towards release once again, moaning long and loud, then louder still as he felt Ryuuken’s release within him.

Panting as Ryuuken withdrew and rested beside him, Uryuu closed his eyes and felt his mind sink into unconsciousness.

“At least now you’ll sleep,” the man said sounding amused and Uryuu opened an eye.

With a tired grin, the younger Quincy pulled the blankets around him, “Certainly beats bedtime stories.”