This fic was pretty hot. Love the dialogue between the two.
I found a few typos, and it would be great if you corrected them:
"... whispers AN apology.." "..his his hips..'
and uh, this part just makes me stop for a while because it's quite odd to be reading the same words. Use a thesaurus? "pulls up... both sitting up" And the paragraphs where you repeated the words 'tightly' and 'release' .
Don't get me wrong, your writing is fantastic. (and I cannot write for peanuts anyway.)
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Date: 2010-11-15 02:28 pm (UTC)I found a few typos, and it would be great if you corrected them:
"... whispers AN apology.."
"..his his hips..'
and uh, this part just makes me stop for a while because it's quite odd to be reading the same words. Use a thesaurus?
"pulls up... both sitting up"
And the paragraphs where you repeated the words 'tightly' and 'release'
.
Don't get me wrong, your writing is fantastic. (and I cannot write for peanuts anyway.)